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"We definitely
won’t be winning any headline competitions, but who cares
when we’ve got mountain biking champ Niki in her skimpies!
First things first: what’s the gnarliest stunt you’ve
pulled?
Aww, I don’t know. You don’t plan these things.
I was on a track one time and it was a course I didn’t
know. I came flying down around a corner and was faced with
this big bathtub thing that I had to jump – there was
no choice. Had I known it was there I would have probably
had doubts, but I just did it.
Rad! Now, you
didn’t qualify for the Commonwealth Games when it looked
like you were a dead cert, what happened?
It’s something I really don’t want to talk about,
because I don’t want to be seen to be making excuses.
I will say that it was a combination of bad timing and the
bronchitis I got that I’m still trying to get over. When
it comes to the selection day you’ve got to be strong,
and sometimes you’re just not. Although I have consistently
made the podium over the last few years at Nationals, nothing
is a dead certainty for anyone.
Understood. You
were born a Brit but became Aussie in 2001. We’re not
complaining, but why?
I was born in England and my parents are from New Zealand.
We moved around a lot so I have lived in the UK, the US, New
Zealand, Sweden and Australia. But I have lived in Australia
for about 20 years now and I really love it here. Australia
is very much my home!
And then you
won the Australian Downhill Series in 2001! Where do you keep
all your medals?
Because I’m away so much they tend to be in boxes.
You’re lucky
you’re not in a box yourself – didn’t you break
your back snowboarding?
Yeah, I was in Sweden and about 18 or so, and in that frame
of mind where you don’t consider the consequences of
things you do. I was practicing a back flip. I remember being
on the hospital trolley. I couldn’t move very much but
I managed to inch up the blanket, because there was the X-ray
envelope at the end.
You dared to
look?
Of course. I was a bit of a tomboy back then and not afraid
to try anything. I looked at it and I could see the break.
I wasn’t really scared: it was all very surreal. In retrospect
it was a good thing because it made me more aware of my own
mortality.
You’re renowned
for going hard on the bike, down hills strewn with jagged
rocks and branches and boulders, but in photos you never have
any cuts! How come?
I have a few scars! It’s just since breaking my back
that I try and stay within my limits.
You’ve said
that you’re into Arthouse cinema, yet your favourite
Aussie film is BMX Bandits. Discuss.
Ha! That’s true enough. The bit I love about BMX Bandits
is where they go down the waterslide on their bikes! I‘ve
always wanted to do that.
Do you get really
envious of that bit at the end of ET where they all take-off
on their BMX’s?
Yeah! That would be a pretty cool trick to have up your sleeve.
A few issues
ago we jumped through a hoop of fire into Sydney harbour.
Would you do it if we set it up for you?
Ha, ha! Did you really!? Well I’m not a big fan of fire
so I probably wouldn’t. I’ve been in too many incidents
with fire – when I was very young I was sitting at the
dinner table with my brother and he managed to set the table
alight with a candle.
Top man! If the
FHM team were to lie down, how many of us could you bunny
hop?
[Pauses]
I wouldn’t want to speculate, as it’s not the sort
of thing I’d do on call. But I could do it… it just
depends how fat you all are!
Pretty hefty!
Do you mend punctures with two spoons?
That’s a myth! You could try and use them, but it’s
not the tools of a pro.
Do you ever kick
people off their bikes during races?
No, never! Winning is important but it’s not the be-all
and end-all. No-one’s really nasty to each other, we
kinda look after each other.
Do cyclists have
gangs like bikies?
Erm, there’s groups I guess.
Dangerous groups?
Only when they’re on bikes!
Ever killed anything?
I’ve missed the odd squirrel.
Could you fancy
a non-biking guy? Because we’ve noted that your fella
is a racer as well…
[Interrupts]
No comment. I’d rather not talk about my boyfriend.
But I’ve
got all these questions about men…
That’s really not something I’d like to discuss.
Spoilsport! Will
you and your “future husband or partner” ride side-by-side
on the road?
Yeah I don’t see why not. I hear some drivers saying
cyclists should be banned from the road, but we have as much
right too be there as anybody.
Damn right! Will
your bloke and future kids all be wearing matching parkas?
[Laughs]
No, that’s certainly not going to happen.
Do you get saddle-sore?
No I don’t. And you shouldn’t if you use the right
shorts and apply chamois cream.
Mmm. Should fat
people be banned from wearing Lycra?
Ha, ha. Not if they want to wear it.
Finally, could
you crack a walnut between your butt cheeks?
Erm, to be honest the thought’s never crossed my mind.
Profile: Henry Rimmer. Photographer: Fabrizio
Lipari.
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